Rendezvous with a comma,

The comma has been an age old friend of mine, and will remain to be so, for the rest of my life unless of course if he betrays me or something. My relationship with the comma, which I must clarify, is a platonic one, dates back to the times when I didn't have to punctuate my life with formalities and manners, I was like 6 or maybe 7 when my grammar teacher, Ms Fatima, told me about this funny little punctuation mark, which can prove useful in desperate situations.
For instance, you start writing a sentence and by the time you reach the end, the sentence becomes void of all meaning whatsoever, here's what you do, you call in all the common sense you posses, read the sentence and sprinkle some commas, there you have it, your predicament should have been solved, if not, you need to start all over again, not the sentence, but your schooling!

Another desperate situation arises when you need to, either habitually or appropriately, start your sentence with certain adverbs (however, nevertheless, therefore etc.), which by the way is a practice disapproved by the traditionalist commentators of the English language, but who cares,  again you would need this little freak of a punctuation mark to set off your sentence into motion, in the right direction.

Then in the course of your, useless, nonsensical, baseless, meaningless, utterly disdainful life, there may come a time when you have to use, the notoriously misused, quotation marks which essentially displays that you are stealing those lines from someone but are bold/shameless enough to accept it, or it may be that you actually want to show some appreciation towards the actual proponent of those lines. In any case ,you would need the support of my age old friend.

Most of the time I've spent on this earth, specifically the time when, I’m not sleeping, eating, whining or doing something constructive for a change, has been spent in counting. It’s true, I've always been planning on becoming a billionaire, and that involves a lot of numbers whatsoever. The comma has been my partner in crime, ever since I crossed the thousand mark, if you know what I mean.

If you didn't commit suicide in your teens, or didn't succeed in doing so for that matter, you should have realized the importance of lists by now. (OK now admit it you must have thought of suicide at least once or twice by now, the fact that you’re reading this crap is evidence enough of the sort of loser you are). From the celebrity famed, grocery list, to the enthusiast’s, things to do list or the pessimistic, things not to do list. From the sucked up friend list, to the overburdening mailing list, or the never ending wish list. you are bound to be overwhelmed by lists once you've crossed that vivid line into adulthood and no list is complete without lots and lots of commas, unless of course if you like to spend a lot of paper and are in the boringly insane habit of making vertical lists.

While growing up I was taught how English has become a universal language and how important it is to learn its usage and I’m sure someone should have told you its importance as well. So basically we are brought up into the complex of having to excel in the English language, those who don’t, suffer from inferiority complex, and those who do, flaunt it as much as they can. And I can tell you this, if you know how to handle your commas, you can pretty much flaunt your way through any trouble, while writing.

All right so, that’s about it, I can think about ways to stretch this post, actually I’m deliberately dropping some uses of the comma, because 600 plus words is probably already too much, even for a loser like you. More so because  as you know by the title of my blog I’m a procrastinator so I can’t spend more time on this, I've got a lot of procrastination to catch up on. Go kill someone or yourself, maybe.

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